Thank you all for the amazing response to the first post in our REAL MOMS WRITE series. So many of you identified and related to Ritu’s dilemma as a working mom. I am happy to feature another real mom today who is talking about the importance of work life balance and how to create it in your life.
Our REAL MOM today is Mayura Nayak, a doting mother of two boys. Shaurya (7 years) and Vir (22 months). She works with a Media house handling Ad sales for a Business & News Finance web portal. While she agrees that life is a roller coaster ride, she is loving every bit of it.
I am a mom to two handsome boys Shaurya (7years) and Vir (22 months). Although I spend a lot of my time at work, once I am home, they both are quite a handful for the rest of the time that I am home. Shaurya is now growing up to be a very understanding older brother, but my little Vir is a bundle of mischief!
Time simply flies, screaming, yelling, dancing, and playing with these kids! While my older one has his own set of friends he likes to spend time with, for my younger one I am the universe once I am home and of course for me as well! I would like to believe that both my kids have adjusted to the routine of their mom going to work and coming home to spend some quality time with them, although I sense it often that they would surely like having me around for a much longer time!
As a routine this life seems perfect, but this routine gets upset when the kids fall ill. This monsoon season both Shaurya and Vir fell ill back to back within a month. When Vir was diagnosed with the Hand Foot Mouth viral, I stayed home from work for a good five working days which means a complete week! We all know what it means to suddenly disappear from work, that too unplanned. Having an understanding boss helped and he allowed me that lenience.
But in less than 10 days, Shaurya was down with a viral infection. This time I forced myself to work the first day of his fever. But when I came back home, he said to me “Mom even I wanted you to stay home with me when I am unwell the way you stayed back for Vir”. How could I explain to him that Vir is a baby and needs me more than him?
But, on second thoughts, Shaurya is after all just a 7 year old and needs me as much as Vir! Had I been a mom to just one kid, I would have all my energies focused only on him. Now my attention gets divided and partially more towards Vir. In his eyes I am an unfair mom and that realization hit me like an axe! I ended up working from home for the rest of the days he was unwell, making up to him, trying to change his perception of his mom.
As a working mom we are forever on a guilt trip. When kids fall sick we want to spend all the time looking after them, but often work commitments need our attention. We end up being unfair to our kids as well as our profession. The meaning of work life balance is different for each mom and I figured a few of my own ways to strike this balance.
CREATING WORK LIFE BALANCE
- Exhibiting an outstanding performance at work on all days, so that we are able to focus on work can help us get that lenience we need when we are needed at home
- Equate going to work with going to school which helps me explain my 7 year old son the importance to attend work.
- Choosing a work place closer to home is a very practical solution so that we spend less time on roads and in traffic and spend more productive time at work as well as home.
- If work place is far, (which is so in my case) we can utilize the travel time in completing a lot of our work load, like sending out emails, making a few phone calls, etc.
- Explaining to our kids a few aspects of work, relating it to his life, or breaking it down with examples often helps in imbibing a sense of pride in them that their moms are as worthy professionally as their dads. (I heard my son tell his friend the other day lets play office office, I will be the boss the way my mom dad are bossed at their office )
- Finally there is no substitute to a mother’s love, care and security she can give her child, but working mothers can find a great substitute in their Moms – in – law and moms who are very eager to play the role of grand moms. Especially in times of sickness they can be the best help we can ever ask for.
I am lucky to get that support from my family and this is surely one of the biggest reasons for me being able to continue my professional life. I hope the above ways can help some of the moms in handling such tough times. While I know we all face different circumstances and come from varied backgrounds and need customized solutions to our problems, what we have in common is our current and permanent status of being MOMS. We ride on the same emotional roller-coaster daily and sure can exchange our feelings on this wonderful platform helping each other raising our little wonders!
Those were indeed some helpful tips on Work Life balance for women.
What about other working moms out there?
What tips do you have to strike that elusive work-life balance?